Balance Beam
by bobbles34
Summary: Riley is guilty; she is a liar, she is selfish. Funny how it is always with Farkle that she finds out the best and worst parts of herself. Riarkle.
1\. Riley is resentful.

She doesn't think it's that far of a stretch. Anyone would be resentful that her prince ended up with her best friend, right? Not that she isn't happy that Maya's happy, because her happiness is her own. But- why her? Why Maya? As if Riley Matthews isn't insecure enough compared to her best friend (or honestly anyone, at this point. She's 14 and she doesn't have any talents and or a prince charming and Maya has both).

Farkle hands Riley a Vanilla-Chocolate swirl ice cream cone, and tells her, as if he read her mind, that he's grateful that she came with him today. A smile plays at her lips, although deep down she feels guilty. None of them asked for this, this is just the way things turned out, and although her dreams of having a romance like her mother and father are shattered, there's someone who can always read her and fix her problems. And in the end, she had all of them, really. Farkle hands her a balloon. It's blue and she thinks of Lucas' sparkling eyes and a grand romance. She lets the balloon go, signifying that her 'princess' era has finally ended.

She feels weird but liberated.

2\. Riley is confused.

She hugs Farkle as if her life depends on it. She wants to fix his pains and tell him everything will be better. He holds onto her tightly, as if he is a floating boat and she is his anchor. Her heart beats a little fast, she has him in close proximity and she doesn't want to let go.

She really should, though. He has a girlfriend and she only feels friendship for him. Right? Isn't this how this goes?

So the days flow by, her hurt at seeing Maya and Lucas subsided. A new one grows as she watches Smackle and Farkle hold hands, as if his hands fit her so well and that those hands belong with hers. She's antsy and really, really confused. This wasn't how this was supposed to go.

She couldn't let it continue. So she speed dates every other week; she meets a boy named Dean who's on the academic team, who thinks like him and whose lips are soft, whose lips she could taste, unlike Farkle's.

But Dean feels a disconnection and lets Riley go gently. And when Farkle hugs Riley to comfort her, her heart beats again.

3\. Riley is frustrated.

Because now Farkle's the only person she can see; he haunts her dreams and daydreams alike. Riley's even more frustrated when he knocks on her window at 10 pm, having fought with Smackle and having heard his parents argue all night. Riley's heart hurts because he looks so tired. She pulls him into her, his head resting on the crook of her neck. She loves this boy, she loves him so much her heart could burst. All Riley wants to do is tell Farkle to choose her, that she would help heal all his wounds. She wants to tell him how good they are together. But Riley swallows her pride down, musters advice for his relationship with Smackle (who she really likes, don't get her wrong!), and lets him rest for a while. Riley slips back into her Riley role. But she's so frustrated.

4\. Riley is guilty.

A million images run through her head as she faces him. His blue eyes are clearer than they've ever been, and she remembers they way they looked in the moonlight as they talked about everything and nothing with hot cocoa and blankets. Their family had been invited to join the Minkus' on a trip to a ski lodge, and Farkle was able to invite Zay, Maya, and Lucas. He had invited Smackle as well, but she had a competition in Maryland. Farkle gets a cold almost immediately, so Riley, not an avid skier, offers to stay with him. Their faces were close, so close, he had little freckles on his, how did she not know that? She giggles at something he says next, and Farkle breathlessly tells her that her giggle was his favorite sound in the entire world. Something in her came undone, snaps, like she's been holding back all of these feelings for such a long time. She leans forward, closing the distance between the two of them and capturing his lips with hers, just for a second. It was pure magic, every cord snapped and Riley felt free-

But this was reality they were facing now. He looks desperate for her answer, but Riley's not ready for rejection. Not when she had thought destiny wanted something else for her. Not when she basically pushed what could have been the love of her life into the arms of someone else. "It was an accident." Riley lies calmly, "I didn't mean it." His eyes look hurt and her insides are screaming.

Riley is guilty; she is a liar, she is selfish. Funny how it is always with Farkle that she finds out the best and worst parts of herself.

5\. But Riley is free

She avoids him for a while. She thinks it's best; he had a girlfriend and she had no business doing what she did. But her heart was his, and it was final. She knows it every time she sees him. One day, while Maya is painting a tree for art class, she leans her head on Lucas' shoulder.

"I did something bad guys." Lucas chuckles, patting her on the head and Maya gives her a look that says, You? Really, honey?

"Does it have something to do with Farkle?" He asks her, and Maya perks up, ready to hear what her best friend has to say.

"Yes." Her answer was simple and Lucas looks sympathetic. She sees it when he exchanges looks with Maya.

"Have you figured out what you are gonna do about it?" He asks her, and Riley shakes her head.

"No."

"I believe you'll figure it out," Lucas says firmly, "You always do."

Riley hopes he's right.

—–

She's finishing her ice cream sundae when the doorbell rings. Cory answers it.

"It's Farkle, sir." Cory nods.

"You can come in." Riley's eyes widen and she makes hand gestures as if to say, "No, No." But Cory wasn't having that.

"Time to confront your fears, sweetheart." He says, opening the door. Farkle only steps in slightly.

"Riley, can we talk on the roof?" Farkle gets straight to the point, and Riley swallows before nodding. He gets a head start and she makes to follow him when Topanga stops her short.

"Hold on a second, honey." Topanga hands her her jean jacket, the one Corey gave to her. "You might be needing this."

Riley's eyes tear over, "But Mom-"

Topanga gives her a loving smile, "Take it."

So she does, and when she gets upstairs, Farkle's back is turned, looking over NYC.

"What is it?" She can barely form sentences.

"I want to talk," He said, turning toward her, "about that kiss." Riley sucks in a breath.

"What about it-" But he interrupts her.

"That's just it! What about it? Why did you do it? Why was it even an accident? I just want the truth." He begs her. Riley turns to look over NYC to gather her thoughts before she answers, "Because I love you."

She hears his breath intake, but she isn't finished.

"I've been in love with you for awhile. I tried to keep it to myself; I know that I had rejected you and sent you to find someone else. I didn't want to be selfish. But as months passed by, you were all I could see. You were all my heart wanted. I was impulsive and it just felt right. I'm sorry-" She feels herself being pulled forward and his lips captured hers. The whole world falls away. It was just them. It was always just them.

I love you. I love you. I love you. Her heart keeps repeating, like a mantra. Like a prayer. She loves Farkle Minkus.

When they pull aways, Riley is speechless, "But Farkle. You're with Smackle."

He gives a small frown, "No, I'm not." He keeps his hand on her back, "She broke up with me. Says she doesn't see me like she should. That she likes someone else, and knows that I do too. So I did some thinking."

"Oh yeah?" Riley's eyebrows raise, and Farkle nodded.

"Yeah," He puts their foreheads together, "It was you. It would always be you."

She answers that with another kiss. She was free.


End file.
